Key of Awesome - EMINEM Not Afraid Parody

I'm not afraid to piss and moan
About my feelings and how I've grown
I've got no sense of humor about myself
But I take shots at everyone else
I'm like a kid and god forbid
People call be out on stupid things that I did

[speak]
Damn. It's really bright up here.
I guess I shoulda brought some sunglasses.
If I knew we were shooting a video outside
Now some of you might be on your roof talking to your self too. But your not famous rappers, so no one cares.
Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going downstairs.

You can try to throw away my lyric sheets before I can read em
Ha! too bad I got em memorized I don't even need em
Yeah I still got homophobic rhymes but you can't get upset
Cus that fag Elton John and I once did a duet
To my fans, I apologize for ruining your life
I'll get back to writing songs about murdering my wife
He spits his lines in perfect time without any rehearsin'
Sometimes he rhymes about himself in the third person
His rapping is hilarious or completely serious
And if you make fun of him then he will get frikkin furious
Cus he can dish it out but he just can't take it
Like a baker who hates cake, but always bakes it
Who's this dude looking at me? He looks just like me
He's clocking me mocking me, I think he wants to fight me
Ow, I tried to hit the man but he broke my hand and then he ran
Musta been a crazed fan. Oh, damn, there he is again
(alternate line) Oh no maybe it was Stan?

I'm not afraid to throw a chair its from IKEA so I don't care
I'm bumping into people on the street I'm wearing Shape Ups on my feet
I'm just like you. I've been there too. I'm rich and famous so I take that back it's not true
It was my decision to do drugs, I did it for fun but now I'm done
Now I'll go back to making puns about Kim Karshiun
and her two tons buns of fun so gargantuan that they block out the sun
I'm the worlds greatest rapper, a fact that's undisputed
But for some reason I act like I am persecuted
If you think I'm a turkey well then you can just stuff it
I'm the only MC to have a beef with a puppet
I could rap about, Afghanistan, Iraq or BP
But I'd rather make fun of some minor celebrities
Here's a list of people that I'd like to impeach
Patricia Headon, Will Weaton, Ruben Studdard, and Screech
But I won't diss Kanye or Lil Wayne that ain't fun
They're both really nice, they ain't hurt no one
But, screw Michael J. Fox, cus he shakes when he walks
Aren't you glad that I'm back to get this message across
I'm not afraid to get really pissed
At all my critics that hardly exist
I'm such whiny baby I'll keep complaining
I'm rich as hell my records sell
I'm such an ass, but I get a pass
People love me cus I can rhyme words really fast

(alternate ending)
And now I'm jumping from the top floor, it's a metaphor, but I'm not sure what for
I got super powers just like Jesus
You can say my name when somebody sneezes
Can someone yell cut
I want to go back up
Oh man, what the fuuuuuuu